Love Thread.

Vent/share your love in this thread!

Tell us how your love life is going, like your own personal net-diary :- )

I'll go first:

I want so badly to believe that everything we say is true, but I can’t help but think we’re naive. Sometimes, every part of me is screaming “Caution, caution”. Sometimes, I think I’m a liar. Maybe I just don’t know the meaning of the words I say, or the implications they lead too. Maybe I’m just afraid of letting myself down, but I think I do love you, and I know this is how happiness feels. Perhaps it is unwise to think too much of the future, but it is impossible not to be afraid of losing that which matters most. It is impossible not to get carried away when you were lost from the beginning, attached to a dream so persistent it’s made you forget the bearings of reality. In that way, we really are perfect for each other, for we have both spent so much time tumbling in our fantasies, we’ve forgotten how to tell what’s real. Is this?

You risk tears if you let yourself be tamed.

Vent 1: You said, I’d never be alone again, or lonely, or sad, or anything. You said, as long as I’m here, as long as I’m here, you don’t have to be afraid. You don’t have to hide anything, or lie, or run away, you said, and I believed you. I did, really, I told you so. I promised this would fix everything, and I made myself believe it really would. Sometimes, it does, it really does. Every single day, I smile thinking of it, and you, crying in the dark and smiling because of me. It helps, really, but here we are now, away from each other and words are so meaningless. There are just some things the promise of love can’t fix, and regardless of everything, I am alone with my past and my future and thinking of you does nothing to erase that. Nothing can help me escape, but in the daytime you make it so easy, easier than it’s ever been. Why is the night so different? Why is it so inescapable, leaving me wondering, did I lie, did I lie? Or did you?

Vent 2: There are people in this world who think love is something to be hidden, envied, destroyed. They believe affection to be meaningless, and honesty and happiness something that can only be found in the afterlife. Some may deem these people evil, wrong, mislead, but they are just as lonely and distraught as any of us ever were. At night, they shed secretive tears for all the same reasons we have, even as they curse our desires, as if we were animals. To them, there is something sinful about the desire to be held and wanted, truly believed and trusted by someone. There is shame in tasting someone on your lips, smelling them in your hair, and remembering the times where your faces were pressed so close you could hardly speak. But sometimes, no words in any kind of book could give the comfort of something warm and moving pressed against you, a hand on yours, a smile so genuine and effortless it brings tears to your eyes. These things are priceless and rare, beautiful but hidden, for fear of offending the people out there, the lonely and hateful people that want to destroy it. Their hearts have grown cold, their minds fixed on this idea of righteousness. Who’s to say they are wrong? I know nothing of righteousness and salvation; I have no real answers, and I will not pretend I know what I do not. However, I do know how it feels to be lonely and on the verge of collapse, as well as how it feels to be so infinite and overjoyed it doesn’t seem real, and to sacrifice that because some righteous soul has told me it is wrong would simply be madness. I don’t want to wait for happiness, nor live in secrecy, nor hide my desires and passions and loves. Life is too short and uncertain to be lived unfulfilled. Fulfill me.

Vent 3: If I believed in wishes, and the possibility that they could come true, then I would wish that we could stay here, entwined and unmoving. Then, I would never feel lonely or sad when I’m with you, knowing that this would end. Knowing that I cant hold on to anything forever, no matter how great I may think it is. Sometimes, I wish I could just carry a moment with me, to make me feel happier, and ensure I could never forget the way it felt to experience it, to be completely devoted to the present and the joy it gives me. I never want to forget any part of this, what I felt or said or believed in. Even if it’s not true. The truth doesn’t always matter. Emotions can lie to you and make you feel things you end up regretting, but I don’t care about the future and what I may or may not regret. I want to live for the present, and for you, and that I’ve built.

I want to hold on to it, and keep it embedded in my head through the cold and the rain and the sadness, for as long as I can.

Sometimes it’s so hard to feel anything, and sometime tears come so naturally. Sometimes you smile, and I think I can’t take it anymore. It almost hurts, being so happy with a moment, knowing that it will end. Why does there always have to be a low? Why are beautiful things so cruel and temporary? I swear I’d do anything to keep myself smiling. I’m always making plans and running away from the night, and the thoughts that keep me down. I think, if I could run from them long enough they would disappear, and I’d never have to feel haunted again. I could make a moment last forever. I could carry it with me, and it would always make me happy, but I know it’s all a dream. Sometimes, nothing makes me well again, not even you, but you try. I only need to lie sometimes, lie to say that I'm okay.

Your words make me weep..

My relationship is a bit rocky at the moment.
I love her and care for her with all of my heart. But it's so difficult. For a few reasons, distance, health, and some others I won't be mentioning.
We do so great and understand each other, but with these difficulties arising it's hard.
I know I'll always love her and be here but I think it's time to part ways, as hard for me to say that, it may be.
I'll always be here for her, through thick and thin. She's my best friend.
She knows everything about me, and I her.
Two love birds, except one can't fly..
And it's hard to fly when watching your love not be able to spread their wings..
I love you.

What my ex wrote to me: Sometimes I imagine you’re still here next to me, tracing your fingers along the curvature of my spine. It’s the only way I can find sleep on nights like these. You see, the sleeping pills never held back tears; they did not wear out my love for you. These nights are lonely when you’re gone.

Vent one: Whenever I want to write about something happy, like having someone in my life that tells me he loves me, it always goes wrong. It always turns into me questioning if he really means it, if anyone means it. I don’t think I trust anyone anymore. I don’t think I understand honesty. Most of the time, I don’t think I am honest. Maybe that’s why I don’t expect it of anyone else. Maybe that’s why I cant write happy things anymore, because I always second guess everything, and let the doubts in my mind fill my head far too full. I just want to be happy all the time, for no reason at all, other than the fact that I am alive. I guess that’s not possible, not for anyone, no matter how good they got it. Everyone’s minds fuck with them somehow. My dreams are filled with rain.

Vent two: You are a light, my artificial sunshine. I think you’ve taken away the tears from my eyes, the dark from my dreams, the lines on my face, the poison in my veins, the sadness in my words, the awful thoughts in my brain. Or, at least, you’ve made me forget. You’re the only drug I’ve ever needed to take, to clear my head and help me escape. I would give you anything, my skin, my blood, my bones, every tragedy, all the secrets I keep, every past and part of me. Just ask, and I could be whatever you need. I could be what you wanted, all the time, anything for life to feel this easy, all the time. All because, at the end of the day, I still remember how I use to be, and it terrifies me. I say, never again, never again. I swear to myself, I will never be unhappy, not with you.