The myth of the weak bully. Totally false.
Many people who deal with children, and adults, who are unfortunate enough to become victims of bullies, are often heard saying that "The bully is just jealous - he has a low self-esteem, and takes out his frustration on others". As you might know, people who tell you that are, without a doubt, tools. They couldn't be more wrong.
The bully has a very good self-esteem. Truth is, it takes a very good social competence to become a good bully; to become good at zeroing in at other peoples achilles' heels and reading both their friends and their victims feelings; to know who to bully, and who to avoid. So, in short, it takes a great amount of social skill to be able to effectively bully by use of slander and isolation.
The belied that they supposedly are jealous and have low self-esteem issues is wishful thinking - something that is supposed to help ease the pain for those who become victims, and the popular answer as to why they act the way they do. Let's face it: we don't want the bully to have a good self-esteem. But what we want and what the reality is are two separete things.
If there's anyone with low self-esteem in the picture, it is the people who follow the bully - they are the weak ones. There is also a separation that needs to be made between those who follow him: active and passive ones. The active ones, who are part of the 'group', more often than not, have a low self-esteem, as they need someone stronger to lead them, and feel a higher need to be a part of something than others.
People, there are always exceptions to every rule. Of course there are bullies who actually do have a low self-esteem and who feel the need to raise it by lowering others. However, thinking that these people represent the majority - as it is right now, and has been for God knows how long - is asinine. The people, especially adults, who say that are clearly indicating a lack of knowledge on the situation, and say it mostly because they want the victim to feel better.
Many think that you can solve the problem by taking the bully and talking to him; tell him that it's alright to cry every once in a while; make him cry whilst hugging him and telling everything will be alright and poof - problem solved. This Disney-approved approach means nothing to the bully.
Discuss.
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